Well, it certainly has been quite the week. Last Sunday was Mother's Day so let's start there. It was not the best day. We went to the cemetery and I tried to explain to Violet who we were visiting. That is always interesting... She thought it was a park and wanted to run around and see everything. We cleaned up Oliver's marker so at least it isn't covered in grass. There were a few new markers which made me sadder still.

After church we got rear ended on the way to lunch. Now my back is even worse than before. My chiropractor says I have some soft tissue damage. So now we have to deal with all of the insurance stuff and get the car fixed (it is still drivable).

Monday we went to visit our friends who just had a baby boy. That was OK. Not as bad as I thought but I couldn't hold him or anything.

Then, my best friend who is due 3 days before me with twins went for a routine ultrasound. It turns out her cervix is .8cm thick which is close to nothing so she is in the hospital on bed rest now. Since it is still pretty early, the hospital that deals with really early babies won't take her. The point of viability for twins is 24 weeks. She will be 23 tomorrow. So, now she waits. Apparently this is not uncommon for twins but it is much earlier than it should be. We are praying that they will stay put for at least another month or two.

To top it all off, we found out that friends of ours just had a baby boy. The part that really shook me was that he was 2 lbs 12 oz. Not much bigger than Oliver was. It made me mad. Not mad at them, it's not like they chose to have their baby that early, but mad because if Oliver had been born alive he would have had a 90% chance of surviving (since there were no health problems that lead to his death). Mad that no one knew that there was something wrong with me. Irrationally mad.

So, obviously, I am making no plans to go and visit them at this point.

After all of this drama I have become much more paranoid. Everything concerns me. It's like I have to worry about everything or nothing. I just wish I could know that everything will be fine.