Getting There

Including today I have 5 weeks and 2 days until my scheduled c-section.

This week that amount of time seems huge. This Saturday will be Oliver's 1 year birthday. That fact is making this week hard. Sunday I was crying because I kept thinking about how last year at this time he was still alive. I like being able to say that. Soon I won't. In fact tomorrow will be the anniversary of when I think he died. I told my husband that it feels like he is getting farther away from me. I know that is not really true since it is getting closer to the time when I will see him again, but the memories I have of him are slipping away. I just miss him.

On top of the emotional mess that I am this week I am also huge. We had a heat wave here last week which was awful and is promising to repeat itself next week (32 degrees Celsius plus 66% humidity). Add to that I have decided that now is the time to potty train Violet and you can guess how grumpy I am. :)

It will be such a relief to just see, hear, and hold this baby.