It has been 3 weeks and 2 days since we lost Oliver but who's counting? I have decided, after reading so many others, to start writing down my story.
So, where to start? I will start with today because today is going to be hard and I need to get this down. Today will be my first day back out there. Out in a place I normally feel safe - church. Not that I haven't been out but it has been to very "safe" places like the mall or the fair where my biggest concern was trying to look at my shoes rather than staring at the sea of pregnant bellies and babies. Today it will be me who is stared at... or so it seems. People staring at my now semi-flat belly with a look of concern? Sympathy? Curiosity? Most people know but what if there is someone who doesn't? Of course there will be the awkward conversations, the tears of people who I know but don't. Questions, comments, well meaning thoughts.
I guess I can't hide forever.
I want to tell them
8 years ago
1 comment:
jamie,
i read your comment on being thankful on 'glowinthewoods' blog. i related to you and wanted to reach out. oliver was in the running for our 3rd child's name. it means peace, i love that.
wyatt (means strong, brave) was born still at 38 weeks july 9th, 2008. the autopsy said 'natural causes' for whatever that means. he was beautiful, perfect and had been perfectly healthy until his heart stopped beating. we are devasted and i know, i so know how you feel.
i have so much to say but will give you a chance to respond. please reach out if you are willing.
warmly,
lisa
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