Oliver's Story

We lost our son, Oliver, on August 8/08 at 27 weeks exactly. He was 2 pounds 2 ounces and 13.4 inches long.

I guess to tell the story properly I have to start a couple weeks before he was born. My whole family became sick with some sort of stomach virus. First my daughter then my husband and finally myself. It started Sunday night (the 27th of July) and lasted most of the week. I was throwing up for 2 days and then just felt crappy from then on. Monday the 28th we went to the doctor to make sure we were all ok. I also wanted to know what the risks could be for me as I was pregnant. I was told to try to get liquids and some food and that I could take some gravol if needed. So, after a couple days home on the sofa it was back to work.

Later that week (Thurs) I noticed some dark brown spotting. Not much but enough that I thought I should watch things. Nothing else until Friday night then a little more. So Saturday it was off to the walk in clinic. The doctor there checked the heart beat and recommended going in to the maternity clinic. Since it was a long weekend I decided Sunday (the 3rd) morning to send my husband and daughter to church alone while I went to the hospital to get things checked out (otherwise it would have meant waiting until the clinic opened on Tuesday). I spend a couple hours at the hospital relaxing. I was hooked up to the fetal monitor for half an hour. The doctor even did an internal exam to make sure nothing was up with my cervix. The heart rate and movements were great. The doctor even said that the baby seemed really happy in there. So I was sent home.

Well, The next few days are sort of a blur. I am pretty sure I felt some kicks Tuesday morning but other than that I am not sure. I remember being super tired but since I was working, pregnant and taking care of a toddler I figured that was normal. Also I was still feeling off but I thought that was the remnants of the stomach virus. So Thursday the 7th) when I realized I couldn't remember feeling movement that day I didn't panic. When I found blood I still didn't think too much of it since Sunday everything was so great. It was off to the hospital. Thankfully my husband drove up just as I was about to leave so we went together.

When we got there the nurse tried to hook up the fetal monitor. She was having a lot of trouble finding a heart beat other than mine but assured us that this was not uncommon (though the previous Sunday they had no problem). The longer she tried the worse it was. Then the doctor (thankfully my own maternity doctor was on call that night) came and tried. We were getting nervous but I was still hopeful. I mean who really thinks this outcome is possible until they are faced with it? Well, the ultrasound was next. I was looking at the screen and about 10 seconds after it was turned on it was obvious even to me what the truth was. It was confirmed when my doctor (who was sitting right beside me) rubbed my arm and said, "This is not your fault."

After that we had to wait for confirmation from another ultrasound tech. who took about an hour to get there. Once that was over we had to decide what to do. We were given 3 options. Stay and deliver, go home and sleep on it, or have a c-section. We decided to stay and deliver. We were moved to a delivery room and the doctor induced. I was actually already dilated a bit so thankfully it was not too long of an ordeal. It was 9pm when arrived at the hospital and Oliver was born at 2:11am.

Once he was born we held him and cried and marvelled at how perfect he looked. We were at the hospital until 9am and were able to keep him with us the whole time. The hospital gave us a box with the hospital bracelets, pictures, footprints, handprints and his measurements. They also gave us a quilt. Leaving Oliver in the hands of the nurse and walking away was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Now, a month later we are just planning his burial and service. We had an autopsy done and of course it showed no reason. It did show that he had passed "earlier than we thought" though the doctor did not go into detail about what that meant. So, I have been struggling with the fact that I didn't notice earlier, and the fact that everything was so good on Sunday. But, I know I did everything I could and that having my own doctor there was such a blessing. If I had noticed earlier she wouldn't have been there.

So, that is Oliver's story. He is much loved and I miss him with every fiber of my being. As a Christian, I believe I will see him again some day but my heart aches to hold him now.