Days Like This

Well, today was one of those days that I have been hoping wouldn't happen. There is a book fair going on at the school where I worked/work so I decided to go in for a visit. This is not the first time I have gone in so I was not really anticipating anything. I thought maybe I would run into a parent but that it would be fine. Not the case.

Violet and I were wandering around the school and went by the gym. Since she loves kids we went in to visit. I did not realize it was grade 5 intramurals going on. I taught grade 4 last year so these were my kids. They saw us and headed over in a swarm. That was fine (except for the fact I totally interrupted the game) until a couple students asked, "Where's your new baby?" One girl asked and I just stared at her. I didn't know what to say. Why should it be up to me to tell an 11 year old child that my baby is dead? Thankfully the teacher in charge came over to get them back on track and she told them that my baby is in heaven. She whispered to me to say that but I just couldn't answer. Not the visit I was expecting.

I am thinking of emailing my principal to let him know about what happened. I think it was harder on me than the students but when I sub there I don't want to have to do this a bunch more times. I don't know... Well, he has gone through this so I think I will just tell him so at least he knows. Whether or not there is something he can do will be up to him I guess.

On to another topic now. Sunday night I was up around 5:45 registering for my half marathon. When I went back to bed I was laying there half asleep daydreaming about Oliver. I was thinking about how he would be here with us now and I got this picture of what he would look like. It seemed to me like it was actually looking at him. I could see his pudgy face and he had a little bit of blondish hair. My husband had reddish blond hair as a baby so I think that Oliver would have had it too. Anyway, it was a good daydream even though it was sad.